Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Conversations.. Just Different.

I love the space I'm in right now. I can't say it enough. It's really steamrolling me into the right direction. When I talk to my girls, it's about buying poverty, saving, investing. When I talk to my man, it's about ways to keep our communication fluid. If we're happy, we're solid. They motivate me. I want to do a million things all at once ..and I feel I can.

Watch me.

Why Soo Serious?

It's crazy, how quickly situations can flip. Here to today, "scram" tomorrow. It's weird watching people I once respected, become memories. It's more often so, indirect. Energy is everything. The whole air about someone, can effect their money. Without them even knowing it. Yet since "they don't care" ..indirectly "It don't matter".

Even if I have new ideas and trades, why would I want to work with you? If you resonate spiteful/immaturity? I rather blend with someone else. An harmonious environment is everything. Especially, with referrals. No one will recommend someone they don't care for. There's way too many people that can do what you do, with the least amount of lip.

Especially, unhappy people. Those who take pride in being obnoxious and petty. Your blessings get blocked too. There are no trophies for who can be "The Worst". You're losing. You've lost. Spending your day calculating your emotions, based on another? Is a wash. If you've never confronted the person at hand? You're annoyed with yourself. Distraught with yourself. Just out-right engaged with yourself. I've seen adults carry grudges with peers they've never had the courage to address.

How can you hold someone accountable for your thoughts and lack of emotional security? People create ideas of anger, everyday. They build off assumption, and start running. Before you know it, you're now held accountable for a slew of things you're un-bothered by. What's wrong with that? Everything. If you haven't held a conversations with someone within the last month? You should be at ease. You have no current circulation to form any matter in their life. Why would you assume elsewise? Unless you feel guilty about something. Which in that case, would be a personal problem.

Learn your demons. Especially, those you displace.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

You're second guessing? Good.

One thing I've learned over the past year is..

*You're supposed to be anxious, nauseous and scared before something amazing happens.

There's really no way around it. We're grown. Get the hell over it. No one is gonna walk you through.. coach you through.. and tell you sh*t is going to be OK ..because, its not! Before something major happens, be prepared to f*** sh*t up. In your mind. Your life. Everything, is supposed to change. That's why ..within yourself, especially your gut, will not be at ease.

The shift is real.

You will miss and doubt everything you're use to. Over analyze  and wreck your brain. Kind of like a junkie, getting over the hump. But don't get caught up in that for too long. You know why? ..because most things you have to do, to get where you want.. ain't f**king fun. That's it and that's all.

You want to move? Do it. You will struggle, at first. You will be lonely, more times than expected. At first. No matter what you do. If there's a significant change? You will always have that doubt. AT FIRST.

Welcome to the club.

You won't please everyone. I know.. it will suck, but keep it moving. You have to put yourself first, to attain any peace of mind. As long as you're honest along the way, you'll be happy when all is said and done.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Tools ..how many of us have them?

There are a lot of tools you're handed in life, through association. Indirectly. Like I asked god for patience and understanding. He took that and handed me my boyfriend. Who without patience, I'd kill.

To step back and allow yourself to love another flawed human (that in no part, came from you) is a journey. You never "have" to do anything. Yet you choose, every time.

I'm fortunate to have an ensemble of men, I call my "friends". That I love and respect, to the utmost. We work each others nerves ..but the love is unyielding. I've always said you can't capitalize on every connection. Being greedy can ruin things. This attraction ..this love ..this energy, is beautiful. It is perfect as is. Like a simple black dress. It's classic and always in style. Some friendships are just that.

I don't know if it's the Capricorn in me, that's sharp with my emotions. It's just, I'm all about clarity. So if I can't place you.. you got to go. An even though someone's typically mad now. It's a disservice, to use up someone's time. Like why bs yourself?  Stop being a coward and be honest.

The idea of someone, can be so consuming within itself at times. That people ignore the obvious. Which can be more toxic than anything else. You're mad about things you shouldn't be ..expecting things you shouldn't. Not because you're not deserving, but because you've burdened. Your thoughts on what "could be" are doing laps on "what is". An like most highs ..love and infatuation are the highest over the counter drugs, on the market.

One thing a friend told me recently.. "Sometimes you gotta love MORE! When you're pissed? Offer up more understanding. Instead of some choice words" ..and I love it. Especially for the times I want to curse and say "F*k This!" ..a deep breath and a laugh, can do wonders.

It's kind of like the lottery. We're all just trying to win.