Is It STILL About Color?

The other day, this film was brought to my attention by an old classmate. Ten minutes in, I was already over it. It's soo weird watching somethings. It's as if, I live in an other America. I swear. Yet the one thing I picked up, throughout my ten minutes were..

"Hurt people, HURT PEOPLE"

What mother would really pass that on to their child? "Lawd, thank g-d she's light skinned" ..Really?! lol Please, don't spread and past down ignorance. I thought that slave mentality was dead w/ Halle, Stacey Dash, Oprah, Michelle Obama etc. People would rather they'd sit in a tub of bleach, than love themselves. Wow! I have no words for that. How can someone else love you, if you don't even LIKE your damn self?!?! I can't even sympathize.

I've been brown, all my life. When summer comes, I get darker. I don't hide from the sun, or only go out at night. I've got red undertones, and I'm proud. Black cherry cinnamon walking. I was even more appalled, by the men on the video. Black men, aren't all like that. I've been fortunate, to feel loved, cherished, and appreciated by all the black men I've met. Since I was a little girl, I was made to feel pretty. Like all girls should. I was never made to feel slighted or inferior. A cycle is a cycle, because people keep it going. Get a new focus!

Dark Girls: Preview from Bradinn French on Vimeo.

Is Character at an all time low in 2011?

Looks like I'll have to retire from my brake, to get back to y'all. I know. How rude of me.
A friend of mine prompt this post, through a series of tweets today.

"Do you think people change? Honestly, do you?"

"I dont believe people change, I just think people reveal who they really are."
-@Twotonedc

What do you think? I believe that people can change. It's called growth. Development. You can become a better you, if you choose. Or maybe I have a faith in others, that need not exist. I guess, I'm an optimist. In regards to human nature. Anything else, is slightly depressing. I would than, have to be willing to admit some people are hopeless. That some character cores, are just that dark. Especially when coming from a man. (Not saying that his tweets were in no direct regards to other men) I would figure they're more aware of the bullshit levels. So if they lack hope.. sheeesh!

If people just "reveal who they are" ..who are you really? A liar. Un-loyal. A cheater. Immature. Spiteful. Selfish. Without an inkling of hope, to be better? Is that what it is in 2011? Yikes! Y'all must want me to be celibate. Or quit black men. (I kid.. I kid.. lol) I just choose to believe in the spirit of people. Maybe more than they do themselves. A person can mess up. Hell.. be a walking series, of let downs. But there's always a way up. There has to be. Unless they just quit on themselves. Growth can be minimal, or continuously elusive. I rather that, than the belief it doesn't even factor in.

To think that your conscience, stops you from being an awful person. Is to admit that there's a lot of awful people. I don't think I'm ready to admit, that there's a lot of fucked up individuals in this world. Than there isn't.

"We tend to have reasons not to do something, because we dont want to become who we are supposed to be." -@Twotonedc

Who are you supposed to be? A fucked up person?!?! Are you that person? When it's easier for you to lack character, heart, consideration. It's easier to be manipulative, shady and selfish. Proud of that "I don't give a damn" attitude. That's who you are? Are people really proud to be that person? I can't believe that. That would be soo depressing. Fucking scary, even. Walls would be built, too tall to climb. Kill yourself trying. I refuse to give up on the spirit of people. I rather take that statement, an think the opposite. Maybe people purposely mess up, in order to dodge being great. Because once you're there, you have something to lose. Leaving you now vulnerable. It's easier to cop out an run, than stand tall and feel. Put yourself on the line. You're probably a great man or person, if you'd allow yourself to be.

But hey.. if I'm wrong..? Than it'll be a hell of a lot easier, to filter through people. Forget three strikes. Mess up once?! It's a WRAP! Deuces. You are who you are, and you can't be trusted.

It's def been a MINUTE since I've blogged. Because quite frankly, who does anymore? Didn't even remember my eff'n password! An I've refused to blog about my actual relationship, unlike soo many others. Hence my absence. I guess, i just wanted to peek in an say hi to anyone that cared. So much has happened since the last time we spoke. A part of me wish I was as green as the 25yr old me. Yet, that innocence, optimism, and hope in people is all gone.

I've learned a lot about myself and others. You can always navigate the situation your not leading. Never fails. But once in it... than awe sh*t! You'll forgive the very things that you said, you'd NEVER! And anyone will say anything to get/keep you. Regardless of if it's at someone else's expense. Even if I'm not responsible for your feelings, to an extent I feel you. Cause often, we're too careless. I pride myself in my over view of things. I always rationalize a situation, from the other parties stance.

Impulse is great. Yet at most times, not smart. I rather "over think" than to sit and be thought of as "f&cked up" ..honestly. I have this perception on MEN that I hope won't get tainted. Pussy is pussy, but only a child is eager. A man is never thirsty. I'm attracted to a strong mental. That basic shit won't phase him. It's soo damn sexy. Just to be proud of him.. off mere character alone!!! That's a MAN! I don't want you, if I can't trust you. An I'm too old to babysit. Money should never be what lights up your heart. That undeniable feeling of loyalty. That.. WE GOT THIS! (feeling) Is amazing..

Venture

I look in her eyes an see a million tears
..Ducks red and swollen..
from preeminent fears.
Battles
Which parallel emotion and pride..
Gives way as to why her demons collide.
All for the moment an none for the road.
A clear reason, her story is seldomly told.
All for the show an none for the take.
The weary's allotted much for the wait.
Much for the doubt
Tons for the pride
Your heart's exchanged
Go figure
..they lied..
Walls built up just to tear back down
Who signs up for the merry go round?
"I'm to old for this shit"
Rants
Spewed out by those who quit
Those who shared the common bond
Love in lust then venture on

New year New Men

#1. "Fellas in 2011 fellas stop doggin women and women stop calling every man a liar and a cheater and women stop trying to talk to niggas who's taken let's practice being committed my grandparents been married for 50th years I'm tryin to do that"

#2. "ONLY resolution is to be a better Father!"

Yesterday I saw a lot of statuses by men, that just made me proud. So many people wish for wealth an self, everyday. Yet they're not good people, or the best they could be. People will use an manipulate others, for the mere sake of being bored. Every thing's all fun and games with our generation, but look who's paying for our bad habits. We are, along w/ everything we touch!

The reason why it's hard to find loving, honest, successful, young black relationships. The reasons why your four yr old acts like they're fourteen. The reason grown adults are going back an fourth degrading one another over the internet. All of these things my parents wasn't having. My mother would say women don't act like that. My father would say "You are a child, this doesn't concern you" ...an I played. I was allowed to be a kid. That term "This is grown folks business" doesn't exist anymore.

I think all men know how to love. Yet for some reason, they choose not to. They rather use people and hurt others. If every thing's about you, what exactly are you contributing. Is that your character? If you had no money, would your heart be full. Would the folks around you want to stay? Are you a good person? Anybodies "situation" can change in an instance. You can be rich and well off tomorrow. But if you fell off, who would catch you amidst the sorrow? You can't buy love or genuine loyalty.

Dear Faviola

Dear Faviola,

It's officially 2011 babe, I LOVE YOU! You just turned 26 and you're in a great place. 2010 was something else! Haiti was a mess, and your friends got you through it. You boarded more planes than a little bit. Who knew Los Angeles would be your second home? You're definitely not the same woman who entered that year, as who left it. A little less greener, and a lot more serious about your wants. Realizing your love for someone never left you complacent. You've never backed down from what you've believed in.

That year was the year of no tolerance. If someone didn't bring joy into your world, you cut them off. Dead weight will create a dead mind-state and, that goes for negative energy as well. Learning what folks to keep at a distance was a blessing. You never was into trends or ignorance. Some of the bullshit people perpetuated was not entertaining nor cute. An I adore you for remaining you. The basic b*tch is taken!

Love was and will continue to be enlightening! The person you give your heart to can tend to disappoint you at times. How you deal with it, can factor in so many things. I'm proud that you never let emotions get the worst of you. You told him how you felt, instead of every social network. Cause at the end of the day, he's all that who matters. Don't ever change that about you.

Like is NOT Love!

New year folks! I've missed y'all, so let get it...


It's cold out in the heart of winter. And I've noticed one thing, it's cuffing season! Everyone wants someone to keep them warm. But how can you look, when your not even sure yourself. Here's a fact in life. If you settle early, you'll settle later. Why are you walking on egg shells, if you don't even know this person? If they're going to like you, shouldn't you be yourself? I'll let you know from the beginning, I'm a brat but I'm honest. Sarcastic but loyal. Blunt, yet the biggest baby you'll meet. I'm not for everyone. You may need a basic breed. Yet that also goes for most people. They just realize it, five months in.

If we must play the "Blame Game" it's both of your faults. It's ok to act like this as kids, but uhhh.. grow up. People's main excuse is "Oh but I like him/her". Keyword is "LIKE" here people. You can like just about anyone. I really don't think you understand that. Like is not LOVE. You just like that person like I like chocolate. And not even so because, (lets be honest) I'll shut down time for Hershey. I promise you, that all the flaws you see in the beginning, will be the reasons why you leave them. Usually works that way. Yet, you rather have someone than be alone. Wouldn't you rather be happy?

Everyone has a love language. You have to know what you need because, it'll take you farther than you believe. If you don't know what makes you happy. Can't quite expect someone else too. If you can't TELL them. Expect no growth. Unless, we've embarked on the latest tests on telepathy. I've realized in life, people will distort facts to make them happy. When they clearly know better. But do you want to be happy for a moment or life? If it's not going the way you want it, let it go. Understand the moment for what it was, and nothing more. That person may genuinely like you but, so may the next. That maybe the perfect situation for you.

If I tell you five times, that I don't like something an you do it again?! You just clearly disregarded what I said or didn't give a F**k. It is that simple. Don't make excuses for someone else.

Not & The Best Love

I was up late last night, an things flowed to me as I tweeted. Here's a poem an some words in case you missed it...

"NOT"

Not any voice matters..
not every thought provokes..
not every foul is malice..
not every thought is spoke..

Not every heart is broken..
not every person loves..
not every heart is open..
not every love's a drug..

Not every person matters..
not every person cares..
not every person's loyal..
"Not Every's" why it's rare

The distance gone is measured..
the facts get blurred w/ lies..
the hope for things yet ventured..
is the reason why we try..

"The Best Love.."

The best love is made of..
lip gloss an shape-ups..
panties an fitted's..
pumps an the sixes..

The best love is made of..
scarfs an no make-up..
ignoring texts to lay up..
kisses when you wake up

...To be continued

Idol Mind

An idol mind can ruin hearts
silence joy an implode sparks
Take away all that you know
Impose it's thoughts and doubt your growth

Come so far to go back now
Idol thoughts have no know how
No distinction for the better
crumble pride with any measure

stumbles past dear logic's door
few reasons they don't talk no more
One lives on thoughts of wrong and right
thee' other betrays the heart and sight

Either way you measure up
an idol mind is far from luck
it's far from hope
it's far from love
an idol mind's an evil drug...

~Fav

I Dare You

We finish when I'm done
&
I dare you make me cum

I dare you
....not to love it
Just one touch
Will make you cuff it

I dare you
...not to miss me
I dare you
...not to fiend

I dare you not to live this ever going dream

You dare me
...not to flex it
or even throw it back

360 on the tip
without dismounting
how bout that?

Somethings are meant an counted
Somethings are understood
Somethings things I barely speak of
are the things I prolly could

NOTE: This is what happens when you're daydreaming at work! Lls Anything pops into your mind.