There are a lot of tools you're handed in life, through association. Indirectly. Like I asked god for patience and understanding. He took that and handed me my boyfriend. Who without patience, I'd kill.
To step back and allow yourself to love another flawed human (that in no part, came from you) is a journey. You never "have" to do anything. Yet you choose, every time.
I'm fortunate to have an ensemble of men, I call my "friends". That I love and respect, to the utmost. We work each others nerves ..but the love is unyielding. I've always said you can't capitalize on every connection. Being greedy can ruin things. This attraction ..this love ..this energy, is beautiful. It is perfect as is. Like a simple black dress. It's classic and always in style. Some friendships are just that.
I don't know if it's the Capricorn in me, that's sharp with my emotions. It's just, I'm all about clarity. So if I can't place you.. you got to go. An even though someone's typically mad now. It's a disservice, to use up someone's time. Like why bs yourself? Stop being a coward and be honest.
The idea of someone, can be so consuming within itself at times. That people ignore the obvious. Which can be more toxic than anything else. You're mad about things you shouldn't be ..expecting things you shouldn't. Not because you're not deserving, but because you've burdened. Your thoughts on what "could be" are doing laps on "what is". An like most highs ..love and infatuation are the highest over the counter drugs, on the market.
One thing a friend told me recently.. "Sometimes you gotta love MORE! When you're pissed? Offer up more understanding. Instead of some choice words" ..and I love it. Especially for the times I want to curse and say "F*k This!" ..a deep breath and a laugh, can do wonders.
It's kind of like the lottery. We're all just trying to win.