I don't know why this just came to my mind, but I found myself laughing in bed. Everyone says you have to be the bigger person, but why? Let's be honest. Some actions aren't warranted forgiveness. It's not that I hate you. I just don't care about you enough to appease your state of mind. There's a reason, to why I love the comedic genius Larry David. He's a realist! Some people are moronic assholes, who get-over daily. They aren't genuine, sincere or even goodhearted. Yet, they seek appraisal, love and compassion. The very things they lack.
I'm a God fearing person, an we all know about forgiveness... BUT! Don't get your feelings hurt. Some people's hearts need to be handled with mittens, while others need to be dropped. If you've wrong someone, and genuinely regret it just apologize. You know what you did. You know why they're mad. Cut the confusion. Some people don't give a damn about you or your feelings when they're consumed in themselves. ME, MY, I! You were irrelevant at that point in time. Then as their actions backfire an go south, they seek refuge and redemption. An it's not politically correct to hold a grudge, but you want to say F-U!
Like men who don't like each other and proceed to shake hands and back-stab one another. Is it the male need for popularity, or the need of being accepted? I rather be a Bitch and a Woman then! For the mere fact.. if I don't care for YOU... we are not speaking! I don't care if your next to me. I can't stand fraudulent facades. We have one life. An realizing the absence of others in "YOURS" ..will make it better! It will leave you happier and less stressed. Ones happiness, should never be compromised. Because sadly enough, most people wouldn't feel sorry if their intent wasn't exposed. Some people can have a bad moment, when they get out of character. But recalling bad judgment over and over? Reflects you just have "BAD" character. It is what it is.
You should forgive some people, but not everyone. You don't need to be buddies. It's not wishing any illness or ill intent, but being true to you. That person is not important enough to stress over or acknowledge. People always equate ignoring with being upset. When in all actuality, you just don't care. They're just that insignificant to you, and it's ok. We're adults! So accountable, is what you'll be held.
4 comments:
Sometimes I wish I had the ability to be selective with my forgiveness because as you said everyone doesnt deserve to be forgiving because everyone isnt remorseful for their actions. Being the bigger person I feel is a whole 'nother aspect tho I can be respectful and still conduct business and still not like you, still be mad etc. Only thing with me is if we were ever cool ill get over it and just adjust how i deal with you from now on. If I never liked you in the 1st place if you never utter another word in my direction it will be too soon. I tend to turn the other cheek alot but i have to be honest that just leaves you vunerable to being smacked on the other side of your face.
It's so many different directions this post started to go in that I will try to focus on what I believe is the main focus for this topic and that is FOREGIVENESS. I believe that regardless of the act it is important that we all forgive just as we would want Christ to forgive us, which he will. The next step in that foregiveness process is for the person who has done wrong to forgive themselves. I don't believe that just because someone ran a foul on you that you reserve the rate to be angry forever or hold onto regards (negative and the like) towards them. The most one can do is foregive (then remember the situation) and do what you can in a positive and proactive manner to make sure it doesn't happen again.
The constant grudge can be seen as a sign of immaturity and reflections of a lack of growth from the individual. I also believe that you can forgive someone (internally) and not make that person aware of it. Ok, #thatsallihave, for now...
I personally have come to the realization that I just do not forgive people for fucked up antics any more. I just dont. And on top of that, if your character is that bad that you would jeopardize our friendship or relationship, I will quickly proceed to dismiss you and move on in my life.
I have had some experiences recently with certain persons whom I thought were a friend to me only to find out that their life is just filled with Drama and I was constantly being talked about and put into situations I had no dealings in. Thus causing me to quickly end a friendship and move on with my life. And NO I DO NOT FORGIVE THEM! They are just completely fucked up mentally unstable individuals.
Oh and I disagree with the Anonymous commenter,
I do not believe in holding grudges but I also do not believe in being walked all over. If you tend to forgive people who do messed up things then they will never forgive themselves. What if you do forgive someone who has done the total DONT to you and you think they going to sit and reflect and forgive themselves>>> NOPE...
Some people are worth working things out with and forgiving, and some people are just evil, deceiving and or inherited bad character that I would prefer not to deal with.
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