Ereka

There's nothing like that "I'm on my way" text. When you're feeling beat up from an workout.
My aid.
My lover.
My Masseuse.

Sometimes I reflect on people I've dated. I use to wonder "What if" a lot. I was a runaway girlfriend for awhile. The minute it got too close, I'd panic an cut them off. Deflect, or say no. I would wonder if I was ruining my future, by blowing off some worthy mates. Setting myself up for karma, the day I would finally be ready. Or flat-out just insane.

Every woman I saw, needed to be validated through a "relationship". Nothing solidified "worthy" like a counterpart. An when I look at the 25yr old me, it's like Whew. I'm so happy I didn't just ride a wave for stability. I was a baby then. Why the hell are so many women dying to commit to forever, when they're unsure of their today's? I would've been married with children and seemingly happy. While drowning in complacent insecurities. Trying to BE for someone else. Learn yourself first.

Everyone loves to latch on to the idea of love, instead of the idea of self. Love can only thrive in love. Not doubt or fear. If you're not secure with yourself ..you can't build something worth sustaining, with anybody. It's nearly impossible. I hate when I see loose, needy women, conforming to any and all ideals of our new world. Like puppets. Let me talk about dick, so he can want to know me. Let me obsess and talk about my ass all day, so he wants to f***. Then he tells you what you want to hear, for a month. You're smitten, fucked and still lonely in two months. I've seen that happen like a revolving door for some.

Or the "Ereka!" blend. That "Ah-ha" Draya moment, where they're like "Oh, I wear panties now" so I'm a lady. How's a man going to love you, when you don't even know yourself? Last week it was a selfie a day, for each body part. Now it's you in front of a stove. You never cooked before last week? Who are you? What do you like to do? By YOURSELF? What are you willing to pay for, that doesn't constitute a man's aid. He shouldn't pay for your happiness. How do you as a woman not know who you are or how to carry yourself without a man? A man shouldn't make you want to cook. What? You was never hungry? I don't get it. He shouldn't tell you how to be a lady. You're a damn woman. Where was your desire before? You can't seek your whole life to be lead. That's flawed, isn't it?

I Woke Up

Woke up and exercised this morning. All week actually. I'll get over the hump and love this one day ..but until then.

I woke up and exercised this morning.

Blasting Kanye's "I Wonder" because it never gets old. It's always the right time.

Seven o'clock, that's prime time
Heaven'll watch, God callin' from the hotlines
Why He keep givin' me hotlines?
I'm a star, how could I not shine?

How many ladies in the house?
How many ladies in the house without a spouse?
Somethin' in your blouse got me feelin' so aroused

What you about on that independent shit
Trade it all for a husband and some kids
You ever wonder what it all really mean
You wonder if you'll ever find your dreams

Little Joys

So it's Monday, on this second week in April. My smile's flourishing.

It's been a long weekend full of my favorites. I decided to hit up my favorite park Saturday morning. It's becoming more popular amongst the locals. The old me would find some annoyance in that but it's a bit sweet. Sharing what you love w/ those who love it, is love. After, I decided to see my godson an bestie. My godson's so well mannered and handsome. He's ADORABLE.

In the process, I ended up being finagled into going to Baltimore. Had to go see my boo Christina. Come to find out, someone lives right across from the Oriole's stadium. Soo much fun will be had this summer. Ridiculous. In the middle of our vices we decide to watch Grey's Anatomy. The first three episodes of the first three season's. Which I've never seen. Complete best idea EVER. So many epic moments caught in all three episodes. Which in turn became the foundation of the series and where it is today. It was everything. Some nights-in with your girls, can be better than any night out.

Sunday, was a race around the city. I just wanted a mimosa. He wanted a half smoke. The struggle began. We hit up three spots before the compromise.

I also sought out the original recording of  "Can't Help Falling in Love"  Which oddly enough was by Elvis Presley. I was honestly shocked. Wouldn't of pegged him for it. So as of  April 4th, 2014 I have Elvis in the rotation. I want the vinyl. I got plans for it.

March Madness

UGH.

March Madness has come to an end. Which for me means, two plays and three concerts w/ my love. The 20th anniversary of Illmatic, was as nice way to finish the series. Nas is so handsome. My dude knew track for track. We had the best time.

I also saw two movies I was dying to see Sunday.

 

The Perks of Being A Wallflower

&

The Grand Budapest Hotel

 

I was geeked. "The Perks.." was everything I expected and more. I was completely thrown by the ending. In a good way. Not that being completely enamored with Emma Watson, helped any. I loved the fragility of everything. The yearn to feel "infinite".

 

The Grand Budapest Hotel was flat out awesome. I had visual orgasms. Beautiful homes and architecture, overfloweth. (Yea it's not a word) A ridiculous ensemble of who's who and did I forget Bill Murray? Oh, yea. I would suggest you see it at the landmark E st. Cinema, where you can enjoy a Makers mark w/ your popcorn.

 

All an all, we had an awesome weekend.  



All Smiles..

This morning I started my day, dancing to the Pointer Sister's "Jump for My Love".
Naked.
Fresh out the shower.
It was soo good I had to run it back.

So needless to say, I'm in the zone.
I've actually stuck to everything I've said I was going to do this year, and I feel amazing for it. Quality friendships.. Stronger. Relationship's dope. Family's actually all on the same page. Minds clearer than ever before and I'm grateful. Blessings keep falling.

Anything/one toxic, I will continue to remove. You don't really get how imperative that is. I haven't watched Basketball Wives or any show promoting excessive miserableness, this month. It's somewhat exhausting dedicating an hour or more to constant arguing/fighting, conniving behavior. Shows, people, energy.. Toodles. 

Muhammad Ali (Parkinson Show) Interview 1974

This first twenty minutes was so captivating. He was everything in his prime.



"It's up to the individuals, and you can't never see it. A man who truly does something from his heart, don't look for things. Nor does he look to see the results."



Muhammad Ali's poem "FRIENDSHIP"



Friendship is a priceless gift that cannot be bought nor sold
But its value is far greater than a mountain made of gold
For gold is cold and lifeless it can neither see nor hear
In time of trouble is powerless to cheer

It has no ears to listen no heart to understand 
It cannot bring you comfort or reach out a helping hand
And so when you ask god for gift be thankful if he send not diamond pearl or riches but the love of a real true friend 




"You can not find diamonds easy. You have to dig, dig and diggg.." -Ali

Monday

Blasting Ellie Goulding's remake, of Elton John's "Your Song"...

Subtle perfection.

Last night, we went to her show.
LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.
Her voice is as feathery and delicate, live.

Had a great weekend. Did some spring cleansing. Bought some white sage and girl scout cookies. Feeling refreshed and lifted. On our way home last night, he just stood there and said "Look. It's soo peaceful out here" ..as soft marshmallow sized snowflakes, fell. DC did look beautiful last night. Looked like a December night actually. A December night, in March.

As I cleansed and reflected, I smiled. Smiled for all those who've come and gone, or I had to let go. Smiled at the times we've laughed. Memories we've made. No need to reflect on the negatives, or why they're gone. Cuz the moments we had worth sharing, were still worth it ..and that's all I'm sure of. You choose your friends like you choose your happiness. An all smiles are accounted for :)

ELLIE GOULDING - Your song

Today... Good Morning :)

Sip

First week of Lent has officially come to a close. I feel calm, clear spirited and refreshed. Just had an impromptu dinner with my love Sierra. Warm days in the city are built for this.

Laugh. Sip. Chew. Sip. Laugh. Sip.

Not to mention, I ran out for lunch. Instead of being lazy, I went to an exhibit up the street. I'm so ready for summer.

Playgrounds

I love new things. Seeing, breathing, living new things. It's a high for me. I just want to do it all. Yet, somehow I tend to treat DC like a little brother. I love NY and California. They're my playgrounds. The creative's, are so fluid there. I love it.

A million things to do besides the club. Which is all I live for. So, I'm a make conscious effort to explore DC. I work in the center of a million museums. It's time to capitalize. Appreciate my backyard.