Thursday, January 15, 2009

Is There Such A Thing as FRIENDS w/ An EX???

So last night (in case you missed it) we're talking about Break-ups! Can ex's truly be platonic friends after a break-up???


At first, I said NO! Now reflecting, I say it depends on who it is an how you parted ways. For instance, if you was just some boy that I liked an talked to for awhile, we can be friends later. It's just because I honestly didn't care much about you, to let my feelings linger. Now if I loved you, I'm talking years with my boo, then HELL NO! This not "FRIENDS" or "Seinfeld". None of that Elaine an Jerry crap, lets be honest. I'm not gonna be talking to you about the new boo, I'm not gonna be talking to you about sex, I'm not gonna be picking up guys around you. You know why??? I still probably love you or care deeply. Yes I will get jealous, be annoyed, an in my feelings. For the mere fact , I'm not gonna pretend it is what its not. I HATE when people try to front like they don't care when they obviously do. It's like, why are you lying to yourself, it's only hurting you.


Alot of males called in an said, No it's not possible. Their reasoning, was that they wanted to have sex with the ex afterward. Horn-dogs! But aside that, they felt like that mental an emotional hold, would make it hard to sincerely move on. Yea you gotta new girl, but whats the point if your still hanging w/ your ex. Still engaging in that emotional aspect, that united you to begin with. Eventually, that would cause some problems with your new counter part. Leading them to sing songs, like Neyo's "Go back to what you know."

Most women chimed in with, the "Waiting to Exhale" method of release. Burn an throw away all his S@%&! lmao Erase the sweetest memories of him, to absorb an reflect why you left. If you see all the cards, letters, gifts, an pictures you never remember the time he cheated or the nights he made you cry. So with him, you have to let all material possessions go as a cleanse. Other women said you had to Hate, Resent, Reflect, Forgive and then you can be Friends. That's the only way to truly have them out your system, as well as TIME!

Honestly, when it comes down to it everyone said it was possible, to some extent. First off everyone said that it really takes years. Remove yourself for at least a year, without contact. Keep it light an cordial depending on there current situation. Don't go stepping on toes!!! If they're with someone, don't go popping up at their house or go out on dinner dates ect.. That time is gone, so let it go so no confusion will arise. An at the end of the day, be honest with yourself! If you still deeply care for this person then extract yourself from the compromising situation. Your just not READY!

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4 comments:

Flyy Society said...

OK SO I DONT AGREE...(AS I JUST TOLD U ON FACBEOOK IM) IT TOTALLY DEPENDS ON THE SITUATION. I DONT HAVE MANY SITUATIONS WHERE I MAY BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE WHETHER IT BE A SIMPLE OR COMPLEX / LONG RELATIONSHIP WHERE THINGS END ON BAD TERMS NO MATTER HOW STRONG THE FEELINGS...THE EXTENT OF THE FRIENDSHIP DEPENDS TOTALLY ON HOW "REAL" BOTH PARTIES ARE WITH EACH OTHER. BECAUSE IN ACTUALITY EX'S MAY BE SOME OF UR BEST FRIENDS BEING AS THEY KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT YOU. THE PROBLEM COMES IN WHERE "ONE" STILL HAS THOSE FEELINGS. BUT IF THE FEELING IS MUTUAL THAT U DONT WANT EACH OTHER BUT FOR WHATEVER REASON STILL LIKE THAT PERSON'S PERSONALITY OUTSIDE OF WHAT MAY HAVE HAPPENED...THIS MAY BE THE "PERFECT" SITUATION OF A FRIENDSHIP. IF YOU'VE BOTH MOVED ON THERE NEEDS TO BE AN INTRODUCTION AND UNDERSTANDING BETWEEN BOTH PEOPLE'S NEW LOVERS. AND IT NEEDS TO BE CLEAR ON BOTH ENDS THAT THERE ARE CERTAIN RULES TO BE FOLLOWED BECAUSE BOTH NEW LOVERS SHOULD AND WOULD HAVE AN ISSUE WITH IT INITIALLY. BUT AS LONG AS U DON'T TEMPT YOURSELF...AND ARE "REAL" WITH YOURSELF ENOUGH TO KNOW IF U STILL HAVE THOSE FEELINGS FOR YOUR EX...THIS WORKS IN MOST CASES! :)

CEO - JAY-L

Dollye said...

I'm not friends with my real serious ex, but that's because he was foul to me. It depends on the situation and if your feelings are in check. He and I are cordial, but as far as I'm concerned, I don't need him for shit!

DC Mogul said...

I agree that it would take time of complete separation, however life details expressed between the two even after time off would make it Akward! been there lol

Next Generation Mogul

Sír Andrƹ said...

I think its a tough situation and more common in situations where u two hang in the same cirlces.

As mentioned, you have to be honest with yourself. R u really interested in JUST a friendship? Or is this a means to keep that person in your life in some form?